Flights of Class

Air travel is uncomfortable. That’s a given. But if you’ve ever flown internationally, you know that the degree of discomfort varies significantly between domestic and international flights, even in economy. After 15 years, I think I finally found the root cause.

The relationship between international airlines and their passengers is essentially one of a service provider to a client.  Although the price is hefty and your trip probably longer, you get more than just transportation for your airfare. You get treated as a guest, not just as a consumer. The beverages and snacks, and meals if the flight is long enough, you’re served are complimentary, served on trays with silverware and cups not made of Styrofoam. Your flight attendants are usually younger. When working the aisles, their focus is primarily on the passengers, addressing each other only when necessary. As with any professional service provider, international airlines get to set some restrictions on the service they provide. They set behavior guidelines that transcend any one culture or country, and by getting on their aircraft you agree to abide by their rules.  They are prepared to enforce them if necessary, but first they will appeal to your decency and courtesy until you show a complete lack thereof. That being said, they’re still more than willing to negotiate their services with clients who need special accommodations or at least to explain why they cannot. In short, in every dealing with an international airline, you are made to feel that the company respects you and your business, that you are their responsibility while in the air and that your responsibility is to be compliant in return, that they take to heart getting you to your destination in as much comfort as you can afford.

Domestic airlines, on the other hand,  regard their passengers purely as customers. They know that you have several other options for your domestic air travel needs. They know that they are all easily substitutable and that you have little to no loyalty to any of them to prevent you from hunting down the absolute best deal. Therefore, they don’t waste their time or money trying to make your relatively short flight into a an exceptional experience because you don’t care anyway. All you want is a good price and to get there safely. From the flight crew perspective, the passenger is much like the customer at their retail counter who comes and goes as quick episodes throughout their day, who might try to cheat the system, who may be a pleasant fellow or may be lawsuit waiting to happen. They even try to forewarn the passenger about any role they might have to play in an emergency so that no one can come back in a rainy day and say that they were harmed as a result of their ignorance. That quite clearly puts the passenger on equal footing with the flight crew, at least in the former’s eyes. The lasting impression is that your flight was no more than a means to an end both for  you, the passenger, and for the airline, and that the flight attendants are just exulted passengers whose job is to marshal the crowd into safe belt-buckling, electronic-device-avoiding practices.

Almost every visible aspect in the domestic and international travel flight experiences that I can think of can be traced to their respective and fundamentally different relationship styles. I believe this is one of those situations where having too much choice actually lowers the overall standards.

In retrospect, this probably shouldn’t have taken 15 years to figure out.

KRP

The Art of the Appliance

Furnishing a new apartment in 10 days is a shopping triathlon. First there’s the actual apartment hunt, after a day of which your mind will feel water-logged. Then there’s the furniture hunt where you calf-muscles get a great workout in the labyrinth that is IKEA. Finally, there’s the essential hunt for all those machines that whir in some octave or another. It’s the last of these that I want to address today.

No one can doubt that technology has made some humongous leaps in the past century. A blessed day came when design met that technology and retailers and consumers alike must have sang praises. Finally having the latest technology in home appliance didn’t want to make you gouge your eyes out. Manufacturers found ways to make almost every appliance beautiful.

Behold, the toaster!

Neat

Tasty nerdiness

Or the kettle.

Can you say chic?

And the ever-terrifying scale.

You know you want to step on that.

They even thought of adding colour so it doesn’t stick our like an eye-sore in your kitchen.

Oooh, choices

But I have yet to see a vacuum cleaner I don’t despise. Years later, they still look like big hulking machines. If you think these two dirt-sucking devils are from the 50’s, think again. This is the new “cyclone technology.” Impressed?

It's like they're not even trying.

And when they don’t look like they belong in an antique store, they look like gigantic metallic beetles.

Wall-Ew

Even anthropomorphism wouldn’t help on this one. I can’t tell if it’s a grill or a gigantic Lego head.

And that's just creepy.

After a much disappointing search, I settled on this bad boy.

Oh, baby.

Is a sexy vacuum cleaner really too much to ask?

Oh and if you’re thinking, “What about the Roomba? That’s as cute as a button”: that’s a robot. Not an appliance. It doesn’t count.

KRP

(Cat) Lady on the Move

As the days toward the big move approached, I got several pieces of advice from what I think are my well-wishing friends and family. Sometimes I’m not so sure. My grandmothers gave me advice on choosing a guy…much amusement there. My mother gave me lists of kitchen appliances to buy for the new apartment. My brother told me to get a popcorn machine and a jukebox. But the most humorous suggestions has got to be to get a cat. Please allow me to explain why this is a terrible idea. *Cracks knuckles*

1. I’m not an animal person. Now before you get some horrendous image, let me say that I didn’t really grow up with animals. Living in the middle east doesn’t exactly facilitate having pets. The dog we adopted in Dubai was given away after a week when we realized we’d have to walk it outside at 6am in 100 degree weather. The chicks we had as children were more successful. They only died after 3 whole weeks of our leg-crippling, over-watering care. To be fair, my brother was but a toddler at the time but the signs were there. Clearly, I wouldn’t know the first thing about raising a pet. I’m still figuring out how to take care of myself. I’m not even emotionally prepared for a pet. I never did and will never in my God-given lifetime accept licking and kissing a creature that just as easily puts its snout in feces. No, thank you. And that’s when they’re happy. God forbid that they be upset. We used to lock our dog in its cage at night while we slept. More like tried to sleep. the poor thing cried. CRIED. I couldn’t sleep for a week. Why would I go hunting for that kind of misery?

2.  Animals are expensive. Try searching for any apartment and you’ll find that having a pet both reduces your housing choices and instantly hikes up your rent. Not to mention their food, meds, toys, and the amount of attention they require. Oh and if you ever want to travel, pet hotels will bleed your bank account dry. Call me selfish, but I’d rather spend that money on me and vacations and that time not cleaning up after something with minimal bladder control. I barely clean up after myself. Yes, cats can groom themselves and have litter boxes and they don’t need copious amounts of play time like dogs but they make up for it but shedding their hair on every piece of clothing you own. The time I would spend playing with a puppy I would otherwise waste with a lint-roller and a mirror.

3. Being a single woman living alone with cats is not good for my social life. I could maybe, potentially, under some kind of influence, be persuaded to do all the above but the prospect of being a cat lady is the definitive deal-breaker.  I’d like to go on record for saying that I know some cat ladies and they are charming people so no hate there. But for someone who’s moving for a new city, it’s not exactly a ticket into the hearts and minds of your new acquaintances. And it’s a slippery slope, too. First you think it’s a great idea to get a kitten. They’re adorable, they’re good company. It’s a win-win. Then you feel sorry for how long you leave her alone at home so you get her a pal. Next thing you know you’re Sarah McLaughlin and adopting every cat with a sob story. You get to know them and their personalities and are as eager to share their stories to everyone you meet as a new parent. You never suspect that other people may not care. Come on, yours aren’t normal cats. They’re just much funnier/smarter/dumber/all-round more interesting than all other cats. Who wouldn’t want to hear their stories, right? Wrong.  Inevitably, you become branded as a “cat person”, a term that is fascinatingly more unpopular than it should be. This is all different when you have a roommate/significant other and then have a cat or two.  Then you just “have pets” which in the eyes of the world means there’s a chance you could be a balanced individual.

Which first impression would you want to make?

Homo sapiens for me, please.

KRP